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6th Sep 2016

You've swallowed a planet!

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful? '! You've swallowed a planet! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Saving the world with meals on wheels. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

  1. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?
  2. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!
  3. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish.

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

  • It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'!
  • I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks!
  • All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there's an escaped fish. You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won't stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I'm the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm - and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn't you? No, I'll fix it. I'm good at fixing rot. Call me the Rotmeister. No, I'm the Doctor. Don't call me the Rotmeister.

Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I've always known him: Jeff. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Saving the world with meals on wheels. The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.

They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better?

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself.

I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everyone's aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I'm introducing myself. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don't lie to me!

You know when grown-ups tell you 'everything's going to be fine' and you think they're probably lying to make you feel better? You hit me with a cricket bat. You've swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas?

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They're not aliens, they're Earth…liens!

All I've got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? It's art! A statement on modern society, 'Oh Ain't Modern Society Awful?'! I'm nobody's taxi service; I'm not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship.

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